The Last Hoorah?
I rolled into the parking lot at the Kent County Fair grounds at about 8:45 am (ugh) right as Steve Reid was pulling into the lot. Steve Reid is something of a local Christian music promoter and the expert on the Southwest Michigan Christian music scene. Steve has been a good friend of Tim Hamm (Sojourn bass player) and of all of us in the band.
My son Michael and I were gathering a few things out of the trunk of my car, and Steve said, "
So, this is the last hoorah?"
I stopped for a second and said, "Huh?". . . . "Oh! yah. I suppose it is. I'm sure the band will do something again in the future. I said that too several people. It could take a year or two for us to get to the field, I reasoned, certainly Sojourn will get back together for something.
The rest of the band didn't talk that way.
I don't know how I feel about that. I don't doubt my decisions, but it feels so strange to think that Sojourn would ever end. I am experiencing this mixture of hope and sadness. Oh yes, and fear. Am I crazy? What guarantee do I have of success? How do I know that my case of fibromyalgia won't flair up and incapacitate me as it did my oldest brother? What if my children don't adapt well to the mission field? What if? What if?
I have no guarantee of success. I must be an idiot. I'm nearly 42 years old. I'm supposed to be settling in, not uprooting and changing course!
I have no guarantee of success. Accept that God has a different definition of success than I do. God see with an eternal perspective. So, during the 1700s, when a group of missionaries followed God's call, but some died of local disease within months of arriving where success or failures. How about the family that returned from the mission field after only two years because their baby had an illness?
God does not judge success or failure on the same outcomes as I do. He looks for a willing heart, an obedient servant, and His perspective is eternal. In view of eternity things must look different.
Back here on earth, I'm struggling to come to terms that my obedience pleases Him. My struggle to know and enjoy Him pleases Him. If sending us off to a foreign field so that we can "fail" and return is a means by which He tests and displays our obedience and willingness to follow, then that is what will please Him most.
I think I got that one right, but it doesn't make sense to me yet.
Here's what I do know for sure. It's something that the Pastor at my church has been teaching me. God is more concerned about the process than the outcome. God is pleased when I struggle to be like Him, to please Him, to know Him, to enjoy Him. That the outcome of my efforts is noticeably flawed or mistakes are made is the definition of being a human who is not in heaven yet. So as my family makes the effort to pray together about missions and take steps of faith it will be the process of seeking God with which the Lord is pleased, not if I goof up the outcome or not.
Sounds crazy maybe.
What do you think?
Adam
My son Michael and I were gathering a few things out of the trunk of my car, and Steve said, "
So, this is the last hoorah?"
I stopped for a second and said, "Huh?". . . . "Oh! yah. I suppose it is. I'm sure the band will do something again in the future. I said that too several people. It could take a year or two for us to get to the field, I reasoned, certainly Sojourn will get back together for something.
The rest of the band didn't talk that way.
I don't know how I feel about that. I don't doubt my decisions, but it feels so strange to think that Sojourn would ever end. I am experiencing this mixture of hope and sadness. Oh yes, and fear. Am I crazy? What guarantee do I have of success? How do I know that my case of fibromyalgia won't flair up and incapacitate me as it did my oldest brother? What if my children don't adapt well to the mission field? What if? What if?
I have no guarantee of success. I must be an idiot. I'm nearly 42 years old. I'm supposed to be settling in, not uprooting and changing course!
I have no guarantee of success. Accept that God has a different definition of success than I do. God see with an eternal perspective. So, during the 1700s, when a group of missionaries followed God's call, but some died of local disease within months of arriving where success or failures. How about the family that returned from the mission field after only two years because their baby had an illness?
God does not judge success or failure on the same outcomes as I do. He looks for a willing heart, an obedient servant, and His perspective is eternal. In view of eternity things must look different.
Back here on earth, I'm struggling to come to terms that my obedience pleases Him. My struggle to know and enjoy Him pleases Him. If sending us off to a foreign field so that we can "fail" and return is a means by which He tests and displays our obedience and willingness to follow, then that is what will please Him most.
I think I got that one right, but it doesn't make sense to me yet.
Here's what I do know for sure. It's something that the Pastor at my church has been teaching me. God is more concerned about the process than the outcome. God is pleased when I struggle to be like Him, to please Him, to know Him, to enjoy Him. That the outcome of my efforts is noticeably flawed or mistakes are made is the definition of being a human who is not in heaven yet. So as my family makes the effort to pray together about missions and take steps of faith it will be the process of seeking God with which the Lord is pleased, not if I goof up the outcome or not.
Sounds crazy maybe.
What do you think?
Adam
Labels: Journey To Missions
posted by Sojourn @ 5:29 AM
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