Waiting for her to Arrive
When I was a kid, my mom and dad would take us on road trips. We lived in Dowagiac, Michigan, but both my parents were from Illinois. They had lived in Lansing, Illinois for some time so we drove there a lot. When we were on these road trips I used to imagine that I would be looking at one of the other cars and would see a girl. Her eyes would lock with mine and we would both know that this was the one. I imagined the tragedy of being separated by two cars hurtling down the highway, and the effort of trying to find out who she was. Of course I eventually would (in my imagination) and it would be the perfect love.
I thought that the love of a woman would make me a better man. No, that’s not quite right. I thought that being in a relationship with the woman of my life would fix me. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but something didn’t seem right.
I also thought that the first time I kissed a girl I would have some sort of spiritual experience and suddenly everything would make sense.
I was girl crazy from about the age of 10 I think. Perhaps that’s exaggerating, but not much.
She never arrived. Not only that, my first kiss was fairly dull. It wasn’t the girls fault, but I was expecting way too much. I also didn’t have the first clue what to do. I’ll remember that date forever, especially since I had to throw up and only made it to the drinking fountain.
Every girl that I met and fell for that I thought would answer all of life’s mysteries . . . none of them was that mystery girl. They all were flawed people that I was using to try and feel good about myself. Just like I was trying to use God to suddenly evaporate any sense of confusion or doubt that I might have, I expected my relationship with a woman to take away any sense of inadequacy or self doubt.
I thought that it takes a woman to make a man. Unfortunately, all of those girls had some agenda to change me. I guess they were looking for the perfect guy.
I finally gave up looking. Shortly after that I noticed my wife. We had become best friends. I could talk to her about anything. We accepted each other at face value. Two imperfect people. She was interested in talking about what she was thinking and feeling about God. She was one of the best friends I had ever had. She still is. We’ll have been married for fifteen years this June. Two great kids, and the romance has only grown deeper. It turns out, for me at least, that it did take a woman to make a man. Over the last fifteen years, I’ve become a better man, because I love her and want to serve her the way Jesus would.
It wasn’t what I expected, but it has been far better than I could have imagined.
Adam
I thought that the love of a woman would make me a better man. No, that’s not quite right. I thought that being in a relationship with the woman of my life would fix me. I had no idea what was wrong with me, but something didn’t seem right.
I also thought that the first time I kissed a girl I would have some sort of spiritual experience and suddenly everything would make sense.
I was girl crazy from about the age of 10 I think. Perhaps that’s exaggerating, but not much.
She never arrived. Not only that, my first kiss was fairly dull. It wasn’t the girls fault, but I was expecting way too much. I also didn’t have the first clue what to do. I’ll remember that date forever, especially since I had to throw up and only made it to the drinking fountain.
Every girl that I met and fell for that I thought would answer all of life’s mysteries . . . none of them was that mystery girl. They all were flawed people that I was using to try and feel good about myself. Just like I was trying to use God to suddenly evaporate any sense of confusion or doubt that I might have, I expected my relationship with a woman to take away any sense of inadequacy or self doubt.
I thought that it takes a woman to make a man. Unfortunately, all of those girls had some agenda to change me. I guess they were looking for the perfect guy.
I finally gave up looking. Shortly after that I noticed my wife. We had become best friends. I could talk to her about anything. We accepted each other at face value. Two imperfect people. She was interested in talking about what she was thinking and feeling about God. She was one of the best friends I had ever had. She still is. We’ll have been married for fifteen years this June. Two great kids, and the romance has only grown deeper. It turns out, for me at least, that it did take a woman to make a man. Over the last fifteen years, I’ve become a better man, because I love her and want to serve her the way Jesus would.
It wasn’t what I expected, but it has been far better than I could have imagined.
Adam
posted by Sojourn @ 5:02 AM
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