Waiting for Him to Arrive

I experience many years waiting to arrive or waiting for Him to arrive. I’m talking about that place in which everything would make sense, fit together, and I would get “it”. Then I also waited for God to show up. You know, I thought that there would come a point where He would get sick of waiting and finally dump Himself into my soul and take up residence. I thought that I would sense a palpable presence, and would be clearly guided each and every step of the way.

I never really arrived, and God never came along, unscrewed my scalp, and poured Himself inside. His spirit entered me at the moment I gave myself to Him, the moment of salvation, but I’ve been waiting for God to do God to me. I’ve been expecting some sort of passive thing, like me pouring pop into an empty glass.

I don’t want to confuse people. I believe that God poured His spirit into me when I became a Christian. What I realize is that God didn’t pour in all of the answers, or all of the maturity, or all of the Wisdom. He didn’t pour in His version of a heavenly GPS. “Apply for this job. Turn away from this relationship.”

Instead, like any real relationship, my relationship with God takes effort and persistence. I have to take time to read the Bible and talk to God. I’ve also found that I grow in my relationship with God when I sit and “meditate”. I don’t mean the chanting or humming thing, but taking something that I’ve read in the Bible and thinking it through. I engage my imagination with the scriptures. I think about what if I did that? How does God feel about . . . I wonder how . . . I even ask God questions about stuff that doesn’t make sense. It becomes something of a conversation.

Another cool thing is to study the history and culture surrounding the times when the Bible was written. It adds color and depth to some of the idiomatic sayings. No effort produces immediate results. It’s a gradual growing relationship. It takes work, but it’s worth every moment spent.

I’ve also discovered that the process of working through problems and issues is almost more important than the final decision. I believe God rejoices over me when I am trying to live a life for Him. Just like falling is part of how we learn to walk, mistakes are part of learning to live in a relationship with God.

I have this opportunity to become friends with the creator of the universe.

That’s intense, and way cool.

I want it.

Adam