Ever Wanted to Want What You Don't Want?

What's the first thing that goes through your mind when you get up in the morning?

I start bargining with myself for at least another 30 min. of shut eye. Then I start talking myself out of using a vacation day and going back to bed. Maybe I'm sick today? No I'm not sick. Then finally, I drag myself out of bed wondering why I couldn't have been a professional singer after all? Oh that's right, I didn't want to be on the road and go broke. At least I could sleap-in or maybe sleap on the bus. Blah, blah, blah.

I make it to work, and at some point I'm with it and start digging what I'm doing.

So, I've run across this part in Psalms in the Bible where the Psalmist says something like, "Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You."

Here is a go that is so into God that the first thing on his mind when he wakes up is God! At first that might sound kooky or abnormal, but as I've started to think more, I bet NOT thinking about God is what is really kooky or abnormal. Do the sanity check, if you are in love, I mean LUUUUUUUUUUV with some one, the are on your mind big time. It doesn't have to be a boy/girl thing either. What if you have a really good friend who has been with you through everything. You might think of that person a lot. Or what if you a 18 year old and you away from home for the first time, living on your own or in college. Let's say that you were really close to your dad. Really close. You're going to think about him a lot. Something inside you is going to hurt with his absence. Something in you won't quite feel right until you can talk on the phone, e-mail, letter or better yet visit.

So, God is our heavenly Father, and offers to have a relationship with us. Reality check: God is the perfect father. Absolutely loving. Absolutely just. You know the drill. He made all of the cool looking stuff in outerspace, and all of the animals here on earth. He has a sense of humor and He's smart. So what's not to really dig about God.

Ofcourse the Paslm writer was geeked out and digging knowing God. How could he feel otherwise. So, I want that. I want to want God that bad. I know Him. I know what he is like, but it's really easy to ignore Him. It's getting better. I'm growing closer to Him, but if my relationship to God were a measure of how good I am at friendship. . . I don't make much of one.

Having a relationship with God is hard. He's invisible and mysterious, and all that. Yet, as I get closer and see glimpses into the His heart, I'm stunned and awed and drawn in desiring Him. It sounds a little weird to say it, and I'm not sure what comes next, but I know that I want to want Him more, and will spend my life in pursuit of knowing Him.

Later,

Adam