All My Dreams

All my dreams, Lord
Dreams that I once had
For my life
For my loved ones
For my friends
I given them all to You
Lord, I’ve given them all to You

Nothing else really matters
Nothing else will be of value
In eternity
My dreams, my plans, my life
For You, dear Lord

So why, Father, should I cling
To what I thought were perfect plans
For me and mine?
What I cling to now
Is You, Lord Jesus

I had plans, big plans. Most of my plans fell through. I thought, wouldn’t it help God if I were . . . or I could . . . Everyone would finally see that I’m somebody.
I suffered through years of disappointment, trying to achieve my perfect dreams. Then came the disappointment with God, the anger at Him for not giving me what I wanted. Then finally I gave up in defeat.

No matter how hard or faithfully I prayed for that big record deal or that big string of financially successful bookings, they didn’t happen. What also didn’t happen is that I was not having an authentic relationship with God. There was nothing vital or living in my "walk" with the Lord. At the same time I was purporting to be a spiritual guide as I sang and spoke about the Lord.
God stripped away my dreams and returned to me desires and cravings that were far more satisfying and enjoyable. It hasn’t happened all at once. I learn the important lessons slowly and cling to old habits with a tenaciousness that rivals a steel vise grip.

However, lately I’ve been tasting the pleasure and satisfaction of knowing God and interacting with Him. It has a rich and filling quality to it, it’s also unnerving. Last time my church held communion I had an unusual experience. I was serving communion, but I felt that I had attitudes and thoughts that were wicked. I confessed this to God. I told Him that I didn’t feel like I deserved anything and that my confession didn’t make me feel different, but I was trusting in his promise of forgiveness. I thanked Him and shortly thereafter stepped out to begin serving communion. At that moment I felt something wash over me, and I felt as if I had just been purified. It was an exquisite and liberating experience.

I don’t expect that to happen every time I take communion, but it’s an example of a newness that is coming into my relationship with God.

My dreams used to be wrapped up in financial and public success. Now, gradually, my desires, passions, and joys are wrapping themselves around the person of God the Father and Jesus my savior. The Lord is becoming my chief joy, and consequently, in Him, life is becoming more stable and pleasurable.

Adam M. Parmenter
www.sojournband.com